Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Ramblings of a Normal Guy: A Rambling for Gay Marriage Part 2!

Welcome to another addition of ramblings of a normal guy. This is my special column where I go off on wild rants complaining about the things that happen and effect my (and ours) every day life. Because of the excessive amounts of stupidity that will be featured, a large amount of inappropriate language will most likely be used. Also expect a large helping of calling out and "I don't give a crap". Rated M for mature, and read at  your own risk.

WARNING: There might be some disturbing images in this rambling of people that where beaten and abused. This is the world we live in, and a world which such utter bullshit happens. I ask you not to look away, but if you must just be warned. Also as a note, this was suppose to be just a part two, but because of the length and amount of ranting, I had to move this to a three part project.

And so... here we are again.

When I was first considering writing the previous rambling for equal rights and equal marriage, it took a considerable amount of time to get from start to finish. Formulating the how and why took far more time than I first anticipated, my bad thinking it would be a quick fix. Eventually it took a mental push in the form of being forced asked to write this, to finally get the ball rolling and the paper finished. As I began to write, and the paragraphs started forming, I knew this wasn't going to be pretty. When one challenges a long held religious beliefs, especially when they are considered so central to ones faith, one must go about it slowly, logically and with care. If one does not, the entire thing will turn into nothing more than a bitch fest. After all, saying "You're stupid" doesn't even work for kids anymore... So then, when the job was finally completed, five big points where addressed that opponents like to use to justify their mistrust/hate/oppression with equal rights. When I hit the publish button I knew it wouldn't take long to get interesting emails. Oh boy where they fun too. But all in all, I was pretty much done with the subject. I was also content to have just one issue of it because, if you allow me a moment of pride, I thought one was enough. Anything more would just be an annoying circle jerk and saying the same bloody thing over and over and over again.

Then I had the unfortunate pleasure of being refereed to NOM's recent video.

How does one put into words the chaotic array of emotions one feels when they are so completely and utterly disgusted with something? Can words even do the emotions justice? To say I felt disgusted to be human would have been a understatement, I wanted to weep for the future of humanity. Even now as I scramble to put words to thoughts, (it's going to be another long one) and even more so coherent thoughts, I can not fathom nor comprehend such blind ignorance to the world. How anyone could so calmly, collectively and without care discount a portion of the population and then assert false witness about them chills me to the core. How many times will humanity have to engage is this oppressing malarkey before we learn from our mistakes? Just how many cases could I list here that are as examples of human bigotry... to damn many. In a time when the world is at our finger tips, when TV and the internet can show you every corner of our world and beyond, when mundane things like skin, sex and love should not matter for we all live on the same Earth, we have people still using their "faith" to force the world to be what they want.To use "faith" to repress other, to discount them as less then human... What has happened to us? What has happened to concepts of assuming not harm is being done, live and let live? Where is the acceptance of all people? Where the hell has our humanity gone? But before I degrade myself into another side rant, let's get right to the post. In today's post I will be dealing with the rather ugly and uneducated comments that appear with the attached video.

This is the best one I've seen too, [name]. I particularly love the part when they play cricket sounds when it's time to explain the benefits of ssm to society.
Still waiting for that explanation myself. Whenever I've asked it, either it was ignored or the subject changed.

Ignorance is like fear, it can be the mind killer and the destruction of all that is good. When we live in a glorious age when information in written, audio and video formats, is but a click away, allowing oneself to be ignorant (and self important about it) should be a punishable crime. How can anyone make a informed decision, one that may effect the lives of so many, when so many of the facts are either ignored or never searched for? When a individual says and promotes things like above, when they purposely stay ignorant and then LIE about the subject, they become are no better than the ghosts they are trying to demonize. Never once, has anyone ignored or backed down when asked how SSM benefits society, it has always been answered, and answered at length. Putting your fingers in your ear and singing to yourself so you can't hear it doesn't change this.... and it's honestly shameful to think otherwise. 

  • If marriage in general is a benefit to society, and not just to the man and woman who are part of it, then gay marriage would have the same benefit. The union of two people in what ever pairing it happens to come in also causes the relationship to solidify and cause a stable household to form. Children are not needed for this to occur, as shown by naysayers and the Church not going after childless couples.
  • In cases forming the "family unit" or procreation, the benefit are two fold. Since it is a biological fact that homosexual couples can not produce children on their own, they also have zero chance of producing children in poverty. This mean they are not burdening the system or the community with children they can not afford. Aka less children on welfare. Secondly, it is a unfortunate cold hard fact that we as a nation either can't or refuses to take care of all the children we already have. While many "religious" groups and people express the need to aid their fellow human, it seems many of them would rather spend money on big houses and cars, then actually helping people. Again giving a bad name to a good thing.  Gay marriages, and the union that comes with it, would allow another option for children who have no family. I am speaking about adoption. Having two loving parents, that have to go about a very LONG process to adopt the child, is far better than having none at all.
  • While the current health of America may be improving, and will hopefully continue to improve now that Obama has won a second term, this recovery is still occurring at a slow pace. This is mostly because our leaders are too busy fighting each other instead of doing their jobs. When times are hard, and even harder to make ends meet, additional sources of income can not only be amazing, but also a life saver. The additional revenue generated from any marriage is just one instance of this. Not to mention once they are married they will need a house, then insurance, then cement, concrete, wood, grass seed, sprinklers for home improvements and maintenance, security systems to protect the home.. well the list really does go on and on. 
  • Married couples also spend more money supporting their families than single people.
  • Gay marriage is also about acceptance. By allowing gay to be citizens and people like the rest of us, it allows the person to freely live their life in a manner that serves their own interests and happiness. Personal interest, happiness, and the ability to choose our own destiny, and in this case life partner, are inherently beneficial to the success of a society by allowing each person to achieve their own personal greatness without fear of reprisal or restriction. In short, being able to freely and truly love another without some nut screaming in your ear about hell, is really good for one's mental health.
  • The promotion of a more open and secure atmosphere. This can not be stated enough! Having homosexuality not seen as a sin or crime would be akin to how we no longer see slavery as acceptable, blacks as a cursed races, or anyone not a Christian American as devil worshipers.
  • America needs more marriages, not more stupid ass made for TV 60 second marriages. America also needs to rid itself of religion in politics, because no one religion should ever be made to rule them all.
  • Another benefit is in the very children homosexual couples seek to love and protect. Imagine you are a child, who was adopted by a homosexual couple. From having no family, to having two loving parents is amazing! No longer are you just a number and a face, you are a child who is loved and cared for! WTF does it matter who the parents are? Two dudes, two chicks, a man and woman? If the love and support is there, what more do you need? But wait, imagine if these children have to witness "religious groups" proclaiming the union of their adopted parents as sinful and a crime. What does that say about the kids? What does it do to these poor children to see so much hate? People against SSM like to talk about doing it for the kids, but how is traumatizing them doing the children any good? 
  • Finally all people of this once great nation will finally be equal under the law, just like the Constitution and Bill or Rights demands. Everyone will be much happier having been granted equal treatment under the law, which also leads to less frustration, anger and discrimination. Everyone will finally find out that the myths, lies, negative innuendo and stereotypes were wrong all along and society will become 'more fair' for everyone. Intelligence, compassion, tolerance, understanding, righteousness and freedom will take a HUGE step forward
As I write the final statments concerning this comment, I am reminded of two rather famous statements. The first was by Pope John Paul II to which he said "A society will be judged on the basis of how it treats its weakest members and among the most vulnerable are surely the unborn and the dying," Can we as a society, a society of many faiths and ideas, say we are so morally and ethically high and mighty when we allow how ever so many of our minorities (in this cases homosexuals) to be treated and regarded as less than human? Do you honestly think such injustices will not be laughed at in years to come? See how idiotic we consider people forty plus years ago who thought blacks where not people, and should not attend white schools. It wasn't right then, and it sure in hell isn't right now. Oh and before anyone says "We don't do that, we just don't want ....", when anyone denies another the same rights they enjoy, rights that where not earned but given at birth, then you are treating the person as less then human. The color of your skin, the country of your birth, or the person you love should never deny anyone rights. Equal rights is not only the fight to assure all people are treated fairly, it's also the fight to keep your rights from being taken.

Our final quote is from Pastor Martin Niemoller;

 "In Germany
They first came for the communists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a communist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a Jew.
Then they came for the trade-unionists, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics,and I didn’t speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me–– and by that time
no one was left to speak up"

Something to think about...

"But what about tolerance? Yes, SSM advocates need to be more tolerant."
As I have already mentioned above, we live in a wonderful gifted world where information, ideas, images and sensations are moments away. We can boot up our home computers, laptops or even phones and within moments be cruising the streets of Japan in real time, watching the birth of a new island because of a underwater eruption or even watching a revolution in the middle east play out. It seems like everything in the world is at our finger tips! In a world of such glorious free access of information, long held beliefs are bound to clash and this my readers, is where tolerance comes in. While my personal hope of a world where we all get along famously will probably never happen, we must always work for such or at least, we must repesect each others right. We respect each others right to live by their own code, their own faith, and their own way assuming they do no harm of course. The above comment does not do this, and even as a straight white man, I am horridly offended by it.

Tolerance must not only must be shown in the first place, but tolerance is a two way street. Labeling part of the population as "abominations", "freaks of nature", and "f-gs", is not tolerance... it's hate speech. When you dehumanize a part of the population, preach that it is a good idea to throw them behind fences and the government should kill them, that isn't free speech, some bullshit religious right, or tolerance... it's hate speech. By the way, this goes both ways too. Saying "death to all priests/Catholics/[insert group here]" because the actions of a few isn't free speech, its hate speech.

If you also allow me a bit of regression and immaturity, I would like to throw out "If you want tolerance, lead by example..."

 26 year old Damian Furtch was on his way home from work at a restaurant late Sat night (Sunday morning), when he stopped off at a McDonalds in NYC’s West Village to get some food.While inside the restaurant Damian noticed 2 men staring at him, giving him “looks”. It was late, Damian was tired, he felt uncomfortable and he didn’t want any trouble so he left. He was across the street, walking away while on the phone to a friend when the 2 men from McDonalds approached him and asked him “if he had a problem” before he knew it he was punched in the face by one man, then instantly felt another punch by the second perp, and then he heard it – “You Fucking Faggot” , the words as hurtful as the punches. Source

Mark Little and his partner, Dustin Martin, visited Asheville a few weekends ago. The couple say they were walking down the street when people in a passing car began harassing them. Little told WBTV, when they asked the people to stop, a passenger jumped from the car and attacked them. Little says he and his partner are concerned police aren't taking the crime seriously. Source

Laura Gilbert, 25, told WRBL 3 News that she had gone to The Villa outside Opelika with her friend from high school, Sheila Siddall, to celebrate Siddall’s birthday by singing karaoke. Gilbert said she felt uncomfortable as soon as she walked into the bar and people began staring at her, but she stayed because she didn’t want to ruin Siddall’s birthday celebration. Source

Bishops in Chile have condemned the murder of Daniel Zamudio, a gay man who was gruesomely beaten and succumbed to his injuries on March 27 after being in a coma for nearly four weeks.

Chilean bishops' conference leader and Archbishop of Santiago, Ricardo Ezzati, voiced solidarity with Zamudio’s friends and family and called for justice in the case. Source

Sorry, can't hear you over the sound of your awesome examples of tolerance...

This is the best ad I've ever seen for saving traditional natural marriage!!! It needs to be run in every state that is considering denying children the right to a mother and father this election.
Where is a good face palm graphic when you need one... If the commenter, or anyone for that matter, honestly thinks having a mother and father is the only thing you need for a child to be raised right, you are suffering for a serious case of delusions. Having some with the "right equipment" accounts for less than nothing, its the love and support behind that, that actually matters.

Children have a right to both biological and legal ties to both parents. Only marriage can offer that. NO SS union can do so. It's a biological impossibility.
Opponents of same sex marriage often reference how biology can be used against same sex marriages. Since the parents often lack biological ties, there is nothing said parents can do to raise the child effectively or properly. Inso facto, they are purposely hurtful to the child. Ignoring the fact that their are plenty of cases where SSM children where raise just as well as heterosexual couples for  moment, I wonder why this person also hates heterosexual adoption so much. After all, adopted parents are not biological parents, but I have not once seen NOM go after adopted parents...

I would also like to point out the children put up for adoption can (and are often encouraged) to seek out their biological parents to form some type of connection with them. I am unsure why the comments is stating otherwise, but there it is. Oh and legal ties are also forfeit during the adoption process..

 Gay marriage is an empty pretense and like most counterfeits it cheapens and degrades the real thing.  Great video, NOM.
The act of marriage has change a lot over the years, from property (the woman) being purchased for a few animals, from arraigned marriages, to union of power and wealth, to finally for love. The evolution of marriage, and any previous incarnations and unmentionables it may have represented, no longer binds or influences us today. Where am I going with this? It was my hopes to address such commentator's of bullshit mountain on the actual NOM article, but I have since been banned for exposing their hate organization. So I must now do so here,  if you honestly feel that some outside force cheapens and degrades your marriage, then the problem lies with YOU not the outside force.

NO!!! The government purpose of marriage is procreation and doing what is best for all of us including children. NO SSM!
When comments like this come up, it really saddens me to know that NOM moderates it's comments and does not allow for free discussion on the posted topic. When such comments (as the one above) are moderated and allowed, NOM send the clear message that they either do not care about the truthfulness of comments, or do not bother to check anything out. Honestly I think it is both. The owners of NOM seem to only care if the comments are anti-gay, and if so they are happy with it. So since I am unable to give them a verbal bitch slap on their own turf, I shall have to do it here. Summarized from Wikipedia:
According to the United States Government Accountability Office there are statutory provisions in which marital status is a factor in determining benefits, rights, and privileges. These rights and responsibilities apply to only male-female couples, from the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act defining marriage as between a man and a woman.Prior to the enactment of DOMA, the General Accounting Office identified 1,049 federal statutory provisions in which benefits, rights, and privileges are contingent on marital status or in which marital status is a factor. An update was published in 2004 by the GAO covering the period between September 21, 1996  and December 31, 2003. The update identified 120 new statutory provisions involving marital status, and 31 statutory provisions involving marital status repealed or amended in such a way as to eliminate marital status as a factor.

Rights and benefits

  • Right to benefits while married:
    • employment assistance and transitional services for spouses of members being separated from military service; continued commissary privileges
    • per diem payment to spouse for federal civil service employees when relocating
    • Indian Health Service care for spouses of Native Americans (in some circumstances)
    • sponsor husband/wife for immigration benefits
  • Larger benefits under some programs if married, including:
    • veteran's disability
    • Supplemental Security Income
    • disability payments for federal employees
    • Medicaid
    • property tax exemption for homes of totally disabled veterans
    • income tax deductions, credits, rates exemption, and estimates
    • wages of an employee working for one's spouse are exempt from federal unemployment tax
  • Joint and family-related rights:
    • joint filing of bankruptcy permitted
    • joint parenting rights, such as access to children's school records
    • family visitation rights for the spouse and non-biological children, such as to visit a spouse in a hospital or prison
    • next-of-kin status for emergency medical decisions or filing wrongful death claims
    • custodial rights to children, shared property, child support, and alimony after divorce
    • domestic violence intervention
    • access to "family only" services, such as reduced rate memberships to clubs & organizations or residency in certain neighborhoods
    • Preferential hiring for spouses of veterans in government jobs
    • Tax-free transfer of property between spouses (including on death) and exemption from "due-on-sale" clauses.
    • Special consideration to spouses of citizens and resident aliens
    • Threats against spouses of various federal employees is a federal crime
    • Right to continue living on land purchased from spouse by National Park Service when easement granted to spouse
    • Court notice of probate proceedings
    • Domestic violence protection orders
    • Existing homestead lease continuation of rights
    • Regulation of condominium sales to owner-occupants exemption
    • Funeral and bereavement leave
    • Joint adoption and foster care
    • Joint tax filing
    • Insurance licenses, coverage, eligibility, and benefits organization of mutual benefits society
    • Legal status with stepchildren
    • Making spousal medical decisions
    • Spousal non-resident tuition deferential waiver
    • Permission to make funeral arrangements for a deceased spouse, including burial or cremation
    • Right of survivorship of custodial trust
    • Right to change surname upon marriage
    • Right to enter into prenuptial agreement
    • Right to inheritance of property
    • Spousal privilege in court cases (the marital confidences privilege and the spousal testimonial privilege)
    • For those divorced or widowed, the right to many of ex- or late spouse's benefits, including:
      • Social Security pension
      • veteran's pensions, indemnity compensation for service-connected deaths, medical care, and nursing home care, right to burial in veterans' cemeteries, educational assistance, and housing
      • survivor benefits for federal employees
      • survivor benefits for spouses of longshoremen, harbor workers, railroad workers
      • additional benefits to spouses of coal miners who die of black lung disease
      • $100,000 to spouse of any public safety officer killed in the line of duty
      • continuation of employer-sponsored health benefits
      • renewal and termination rights to spouse's copyrights on death of spouse
      • continued water rights of spouse in some circumstances
      • payment of wages and workers compensation benefits after worker death
      • making, revoking, and objecting to post-mortem anatomical gifts


  • Spousal income and assets are counted in determining need in many forms of government assistance, including:
    • veteran's medical and home care benefits
    • housing assistance
    • housing loans for veterans
    • child's education loans
    • educational loan repayment schedule
    • agricultural price supports and loans
    • eligibility for federal matching campaign funds
  • Ineligible for National Affordable Housing program if spouse ever purchased a home:
  • Subject to conflict-of-interest rules for many government and government-related jobs
  • Ineligible to receive various survivor benefits upon remarriage
  • Providing financial support for raising children born of the marriage.

Even with the final bullet point mentioned children born of the marriage, there is still nothing in these guide lines stating marriage is only for procreation. I also find it odd that a group of people who so readily complain about the government interfering with their personal lives, now wants the government to infer with others personal lives and dictate what they can and can not do, and who they can and can not love.

And the final comment for today:

You forget--tax breaks are benefits--not rights. You have a right to marry, according to the parameters of the institution. You do not enjoy unalienable rights to benefits. If there were no tax breaks, would you SSM?
Under the current tax code and law, (I had to look it up, I am so dumb when it comes to taxes) various benefits such as deductions, shared tax forms and tax credits are granted to couples that are married. In addition to this, rights to house, home, and visitations are granted. When a group, organization or government does not allow for the same benefits to be shared by all couples regardless of age,sex or gender, what is being said is that one is a valid marriage and one is not. What equal right groups are fighting for is not to save a couple bucks on their tax returns but to have both heterosexual and homosexual marriage to be treated the same. Why is this such a sin? I would also like to point out that because of increasing amount of religious interference in law, homosexual couples are not even allowed to visit loved ones in the hospital "if they don't agree with being gay" that is unacceptable. A persons religion should NEVER be allowed to deny a loved on the right to see a ill family member or mate. Never!

....Oh and same sex couples, even without tax breaks, still get married, so I guess they still SSM. *rolls eyes*

God damn.

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