Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Ramblings of a Normal Guy: Remember when movies where fun?

Yes, I love Harry Potter.

Welcome to another addition of ramblings of a normal guy. This is my special column where I go off on wild rants, complaining about the things that happen and effect my (and ours) every day life. Because of the excessive amounts of stupidity that will be featured, a large amount of inappropriate language will most likely be used. Also expect a large helping of calling out and "I don't give a crap". Rated M for mature, and read at  your own risk.  

So today at work, while engaging in a whole lot of nothing, I found myself browsing the news section of Google and ThinkProgress. Most of what was there you can already guess, political bitching, first world problems, and Fox News pissing and moaning about the newest "end of the world" event that will destroy all of America. (ProTip from the future: We are all still here) But one story managed to catch my attention, and actually inspire this blog post for today. The author wrote about that "because of record low attendance and ticket sales, the movie industry has to reinvent itself in order to survive". Reasons for such lows where the economy, 3D movies and their over priced gimmicks. But that isn't want bothered me. It was actually a quote from Vincent Bruzzese of the Worldwide Motion Picture Group. 

"Moviegoers have to take some responsibility too. They claim to want more original content, but they're not going to see it."  

Oh really fucktard? I wasn't aware it was all our fault for not watching original movies Hollywood puts out. Maybe you could take a moment from beating off on how awesome you are, and actually show us where this content is? Cause movies for the past couple of years have been nothing but rehash, remakes and reboots. Nothing beats watching the same horror movie five hundred fucking times in a row with the only difference being peoples names. Oh, you mean the two idiot teens that had sex are going to die? WHAT A TWIST! And no, Twilight is not a example of literally art for a new age. It's a pile of shit, and everyone knows it. But you know what? Even I have to admit Vincent has a point he was to dumb to notice. Movie goers are in fact part of the problem when it comes to low ticket sales. Well I would say people are the source of all problems, but that's a rant for another day... Ignorant, self absorbed twats who think the world revolves around them, many of these so called movie goers have destroyed the once "good old times" of going out to see a movie. In fact, let me tell you about one such story, that has a habit of repeating itself all to often.

A picture of two cats... still a better love story than Twilight.

It was on a rare day that I had off from work, when my friends and I decide on a later showing of the new Paranormal Activity movie. My one girl/friend is terrified of ghost movies, so we knew it would be a blast for us. Also keep in mind, this was during the school year, on a school night, and it was rated R. These three things alone should have assured us a relatively drama free movie.... should have. About ten minutes before the movie was about to start, and just when we where about to breath easy, two "adults" and a child well under that 6 year age limit *1 sat right behind us. The groan you're making now probably matches the one we made at the time. Durning the course of the movie, or at least what I saw of it, the child had to comment on every little thing that was happening. Even worse, the mother felt the need to make it public to everyone around her. Seriously, we don't give a shit if your kid knows how to talk, or how to read, we are here for a MOVIE. But sadly, if everyone wasn't paying attention to them and not the movie, something was seriously wrong with the world. But hey I paid for a movie, not for the commentary, so I can just politely ask her to shut it right?

Oh hell no, how dare I get what I paid for.

When i did, and was actually nice about it for once, I quickly found out such request where considered racist, and immediately had to be talked about. She even took great joy in telling everyone around her that she was going to sue me and the movie theater. As a point of reference, I'm secretly thinking this is the reason why abortions are legal. Ugh. Fast forward about ten minutes after her bitch fit ends....and her cycle start all over again. Seriously who pays for the movies and then doesn't watch it?

Hash tag fail sauce....

Again I asked her again to please be quite, and again the lady went off like the little uneducated bitch she was. She went off for a good five minutes cursing me off and then telling her kid to kick my chair. Just in case the verbal abuse wasn't enough, she had to throw in some physical abuse as well. Super, now what was suppose to be a nice relaxing times with friends, is now a drama filled evening because of one bitch who couldn't keep her fat ass mouth and ego in check. Judging from her demeanor, I'm sure she was pleased when I walked out of the theater. My one friend (who stayed behind) even said she mentioned how this was a victory for "the black woman". How? I'm not sure, considering my IQ isn't in the single digits. But hey, she made herself look bad, her race look bad, and her family look bad, all the while destroying a good time out. Hell, she probably blogged about it like I did... assuming she knows how to type.

At the customer service desk, the manager's response to all this was "yea we get this a lot, you just have to deal with it". Overpriced food, spotty cleanliness, rude customers, security and managers that don’t care, and I just need to deal with it? What exactly am I paying for again? Is ruining someone’s time really become the preferred form of entertainment? By the Gods, whatever happened to going to a movie to watch it or make out with your sweetie? The movies, it used to be a good time. It use to be where everyone could go to sit back and relax while whatever movie was playing. Friends could get together, lovers can go on a date, even parents could get away for a while for a nice relaxing time. Call me crazy, but I know this is happening all over America, and maybe this is why ticket prices are down.

For me this is really sad...

*1 There is actually a huge sign in the front of the movie theater that states anyone under age will not be permitted in a rated R movie. It has never been enforced.


  1. I know what you mean. I remember seeing Lion King with my brother and it was always fun. We sat their silently and enjoyed the movie. If we did talk, my mom or brother would shush me and I stay silent than.

    I think every time I been to Franklin Mills Movie Theater now a days, I can't even hear a movie because I hear "OH MY GOD! Don't go through that door you stupid bitch!" And I am always half tempted to leave. I go to Neshaminy mall. Yeah Franklin Mills may be only 5 bucks a ticket as to where Neshaminy is 7 or 8 bucks. But I pay that couple of extra bucks to actually get to hear the movie.

    Btw, I remember when the giant Ben Franklin use to talk. I stopped and watch it always too when I was a little girl :) I'm sad they don't use it anymore.

  2. It's funny because I was just talking about this with my friendly Lauryn. Neshaminy, while still not the best of movie theaters, you can still at least sit and enjoy the movie.